Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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