I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
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What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize