I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
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We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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