Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize