i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
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I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
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Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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