Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize