I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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