Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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