Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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