Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
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My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
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As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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