He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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