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Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize