I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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