bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize