is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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