omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
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She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
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So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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