How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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