I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize