I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize