Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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