I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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