Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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