I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize