Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize