i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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