I cockslap morals
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Did I show you my penis last night?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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