No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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