pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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