Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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