I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
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stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
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I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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