is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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