He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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