a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize