I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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