Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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