Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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