and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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