Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize