Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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