I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize