I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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