you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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