so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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