Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize