With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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