we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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