just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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