I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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