I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
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I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
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I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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