Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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