Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
accomplished twins. life is a go
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize