I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize